Ika - 180 Banat

Apila ng iba, mas madami daw ang Filipino-Foreigner sa football team ng Azkals kesa sa pure Filipino

Ano ngayon? Baket sa showbiz wala namang umaapila pag may dugong banyaga ang artista? Minsan nga ni walang dugong Pinoy. May mga nakaraang pabasa kami noon na may banat sa mga "half-breed" dito sa Pilipinas. Hindi dahil kontra kami sa kanila. Ang gusto lang namin sabihin sa mga pabasa na yon ay ganon na kadaming salinlahi sa atin. Hinirit namin noon na dadating ang panahon na baka ang PBA (Philippine Basketball Association) ay kikilalanin nang Phil-Am Basketball Association. Reklamo ba yon? Hinde. Pinupuna lang namin ang obvious.

Kaya kami nairita ngayon sa dami ng bumabatikos sa issue ng "Half-breed" sa Azkals, dahil wala namang kwenta umapila. Tuwing komokontra tayo sa pagkakaron ng Filipino-Foreigner sa sport teams natin lumalabas na parang bilib na bilib tayo sa ibang lahi. Porke may dugong Amerikano, Espanyol, Chinese, etc. ibaig sabihin mas magaling na? Gago ka ba? Mas matangkad lang yang mga yan. Lumalamang lang sila sa kaalaman sa sports, technology para sa training, at sa overall preparedness dahil mataas ang budget ng ibang bansa pagdating sa sports/athletic development.

Sino ba sa atin ang makakapagsabi na wala syang dugong, espanyol, hapon, intsik, arabo, amerikano, at kung ano-ano pang lahi na naging parte ng kultura at history natin? Kung meron mang may karapatan umapila laban sa mga "half-breed" sa Pilipinas, yun ay ang mga Ita (Aetas) o "Negritos" lang. Dahil sila lang ang tunay na sinauna at purong Pilipino, at lahat tayo ay Filipino-Foreigners na.

Alam naman natin na hugot ang pangalan ng Azkals football team sa salitang "askal" o asong kalye. Ang mga asong considered na askal ay ang mga mongrel. Mongrel ang tawag sa mga asong may mix-breed.

Pag-isipan mo

Dilang Pinilipit

Mahalimuyak ang hinayupak na pinapak na pakpak

Ang pinamaypay ng papa na may yaya

Kokonting katorpeng kukoteng nakapote

Pumuna ang paminta sa imprenta para magpintura ng peluka

Uminom ng munting inuming pangnomnom

Sinuka ng sakang na aswang ang tamis-anghang na kinasang suka

Keber ko kung kalurkei kong kakropekan eh keri kumain kina kebab

Pakipapak ang Paskong pinalutong at pinalutang na pinatulong paksiw

Ask The Author (D.O.T.A.)

Tanong galing kay arjolskie:

Tanong: Marunong ba kayong mag-D.O.T.A.?

Ma-Epal author: Hinde. Ang nilalaro namen ay POTA.

Tanong galing kay rebusado:

Tanong: Naglalaro po ba ng D.O.T.A. ang mga bading?

Ma-Epal author : Oo, pero mas gusto nilang nilalaro ang NOTA.

Hirap Matanggap

Isang araw, pumasok sa isang bar si Berting...

Berting: Waiter, bigyan moko ng dalawang case ng beer!

Waiter: Eto ho sir. Table para sa ilang tao po ba?

Berting: Ako lang! Beer all you can na 'to!

Waiter: Mukang problemado kayo sir 'a.

Berting: Nalaman ko kahapon na bading ang kapatid ko! Tapos ngayon, boyfriend na nya yung kumpare ko! Bading din pala si pareng Inggo! Magpapakalunod ako sa beer!

Waiter: Mawalang galang lang ho sir. Hindi naman sa nakiki-alam ako, pero sana tanggapin nyo na lang na bading yung kapatid nyo. Hindi naman ho kasalanan maging bakla diba? At sana maging maligaya na lang kayo para sa kanya at sa kumpare nyo.

Berting: Alam mo, kaya ko namang tanggapin na bading yung utol ko. Kaso mahirap maging maligaya para sa kanila nung kumpare ko. Beer lang nang beer!

Waiter: Baket naman ho sir?

Berting: Matagal ko nang crush si pareng Inggo 'e! It's unfair!... Cute ka. May girlfriend ka na ba?

Waiter: Ah ehh oho, may girlfriend po ako.

Berting: Put*ng ina beer pa!

PEDO

I'm Yours (Remix)

Ang cute talaga ng mga pusa

Lyrics:

heyamanammeltit
haymanma hnmtit
heyinggaina mina aiyy ahgn
hnmni hmltit ila aaanlo
bada uhll lagei kaga mama
ei ei name hanyooh

hmnh haltih ha
bahlmwl li la
lamlamlal mla
ba ba ba baaa

holala oakey na mo
nama ike aynlooo

Bishop Juan de Dios Pueblos: Tunay Na Astig na Barako !!!!

kailangan ng tunay na astig na barako ng bagong kotse para makapaglakwatsa.

Basahin ang opinyon ng kapwa nating barako dito :

There’s The Rub
Holy see
By: Conrado de Quiros
Philippine Daily Inquirer
5:06 am | Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

Butuan Bishop Juan de Dios Pueblos says he welcomes the chance of going to the Senate to clear his name. In fact he wants to deliver a privilege speech there. He won’t educate the senators, he quips, he’ll convert them.

Well, he has already had too many privileges in life for anyone to wish to grant him another, even if that is only the privilege of words. As to converting the senators, to what? To the Dark Side? Too late in the case of some of them.

De Dios Pueblos really has nothing to say that he hasn’t already said in his letter to Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo in 2009, and said quite sublimely. That letter is a classic in the art of solicitation. It begins by invoking God. God has been pleased to see him live to his 66th birthday, God has been pleased with his work, God would like him to continue that work by having his benefactor on earth, well, give him a nice car on his birthday.

“It is in this view that I am asking a favor from Your Excellency. At present, I really need a brand-new car, possibly a 4 x 4, which I can use to reach the far-flung areas of Caraga. I hope you will never fail to give a brand new car which would serve as your birthday gift to me. For your information, I have with me a 7-year-old car which is not anymore in good running condition. Therefore, this needs to be replaced very soon.”

He ends by saying: “Be assured of my constant support.”

Some people are truly mga anak ng Diyos. On their birthdays, other bishops get only a card, De Dios Pueblos gets a car. What a difference a “d” makes.

What can De Dios Pueblos possibly add to that? The only thing I myself can add to it is to wonder how anyone, however he is someone whose thoughts constantly turn to heaven, can possibly run a car to the ground in seven years. I have an 11-year-old car and though I am not the most scrupulous maintainer of vehicles, I am happy to report that I can still carry out my journalistic work with it. Even taxis last longer.

Of course the roads of Caraga are nowhere like those of Metro Manila, but we only have his word that he takes his gifts to places that guarantee this astonishing rate of obsolescence. Had Arroyo lasted longer, which was her intention with the constant support of bishops like De Dios Pueblos, the PCSO would be supplying him with another brand new 4×4 in 2016 to do God’s work.

It’s a wonder no lightning bolt has yet streaked from the sky to register God’s objections to being dragged into this sordid business.

But Mercedes Tuason, ambassador to the Holy See, sees only unholy thoughts in all this. “What I feel bad about is that they are attacking the bishops, saying many things without solid proof,” she said. “I’m sure whenever they get money from PCSO, they give it to the poor.”

What can one say? Tuason gives whole new meanings to her work. For her, being ambassador to the Holy See means to see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. De Dios Pueblos’ letter is not solid proof? Bishop Martin Jumoad’s Mitsubishi Strada is not solid proof? The various SUVs and other gratuities given to Arroyo’s favorite bishops are not solid proof?

What takes the cake is that all this is being justified not just in the name of God but in the name of the poor. Tuason is certain that whatever the bishops got, they used for the poor, a certainty we take it that comes from her proximity to infallibility. That is one holy seeing, though I doubt it originates from tongues of fire. I doubt many faithful will find the concept of bishops soliciting SUVs to serve the poor as a sign that God works in mysterious ways. I suspect most will just find it hilarious—and have problems remaining faithful.

In fact what it reminds me of is that poster Imelda Marcos had during her time, the one on malnutrition. The poster featured a grimy and emaciated kid in the background and Imelda in all her bauble-d glory in the foreground. The idea was to show that the First Lady would take the lead in plucking the poor from the jaws of hunger. But what came across was another message entirely: The opulence of the one was the cause, the misery of the other was the effect. The posters did not grace the walls and electrical posts of the city for very long.

It’s the same thing here. The SUVs of the bishops are the cause, the poverty of their flock is the effect.

But in the end, what’s truly sad, to borrow Tuason’s understatement of the decade, is not that the bishops are being attacked but that Arroyo’s bishops are attacking their very calling and subverting the standing of the true shepherds among them. Their existence is a slap on the face of the great bishops of the past and present, who lived and are living up to being princes of the Church not by wearing princely raiment but by displaying kingly hearts. Bishops like Francisco Claver of Mountain Province, Antonio Fortich of Bacolod, Sergio Utleg of Tuguegarao, Manuel Purruganan of Isabela, Antonio Ledesma of Cagayan de Oro, and Julio Labayen of Infanta.

They were/are the ones who have walked with the lowest of the low, who have broken bread with the wretchedest of the wretched, who have given everything of themselves to serve the last, the least and the lost. They were/are the ones who have fought tyranny and built churches of the poor, by the poor and for the poor. They have never needed a Strada or a Montero to straddle the world like a colossus, they needed only the strength of their convictions to cleanse the temple of the merchants.

They are the ones whose memory or living work Arroyo’s bishops spit on by having the gall to suggest they solicited princely cars to succor paupers. As does the ambassador to the Holy See when she attempts to sanctify it. That’s not holy see.

That’s holy sheesh.

Munting Muni-muni

Ang taong nagpapaulit ng pagsabi ng "I love you"
ay dahil gustong kiligin, o sadyang bingi.

Ang pagkakapareho ng notebook and straw
ay mapapel at sipsip.

Ang tawag sa tinderong naghahasa ng kutsilyo at nagbebenta ng mangga,
ay manggahasa

Kung gusto mo magka iPhone kaagad,
piktyran mo close-up ng mata mo at gawin mong wallpaper sa celphone mo

Pag may sumigaw ng pangit sa mataong lugar,
wag na wag kang lilingon kahit sa sarili mo, aminado kang totoo yun.

Ang unang dalawang bagyo nagkasabay itong taon ay
si Bebeng at si Bieber

Ang pinakamagandang araw na panoorin ang Thor
ay Thorsday.

Ang karpenterong may dalang martilyo na superhero
ay carpenthor

Ang tawag sa halong na sarsi at hilaw na itlog,
ay sarsilog.

Kung ang helipad ay landing-an ng helicopter,
ang maxipad ay landing-an ng...

Kung ang kunwarian na paglalaro ng house ay bahay-bahayan,
ang kunwarian na paglalaro ng lobo ay balunbalunan

Ang tawag sa malakas maghilik at madalas inuubo
ay hilik-cough-ter

Kung mapapangasawa ni Venus Raj si Bruno Mars,
siya'y magiging Venus Mars

Pag ang isang tao, aminado na pangit siya,
wag mong regaluhan ng salamin

Walang matigas na kulangot
sa matulis na kuko.

Ang tawag sa babaeng matanda,
ay gerlalusiang

Kung ang tawag sa bangus na walang tinik ay Boneless Bangus,
Ang tawag sa bangus na walang buto ay Spineless Bangus

Ang uminom ng sili juice with pulp,
ay parang nagtoothbrush gamit ang wasabi.

Ang tawag sa mga fans ni Bea Alonzo,
ay Beatitudes

Si Marvin the Martian at Winnie the Pooh ay hindi magkamaganak
kahit magkapareho sila ng middle name.

Walang tira-tira,
sa malutong na Crispy pata

Kapag naghiwa ng cake sa gitna
manginig ng konti para may lamang na isa

Ang taong busog,
mahirap malaglagan ng pantalon hanggang tuhod

Ang giniginaw na walang kumot
ay parang kuto sa nakatira sa kalbo

Ang problema y ay parang labada
konting kuskos, ayos. Pero pag may mantsa, nakakaimbyerna

Sa bawat singhot, sipon, nauudlot.
Pero sa isang munting buga, kulangot pwedeng lumipad

Di magugunaw ang mundo sa 2012.
Dahil maraming lata ng sardinas nakalagay "expires 2013" pa!

Payaso
ang tawag sa payat na aso

Ang sweldo, parang parada.
...dumadaan lang

Ang tawag sa empanada na may palaman na kambing
ay lambada

Pwede mong sikuhin ang kili-kili ng iba,
Pero kailanma'y di mo masisiko ang sarili mong kili-kili

Kung magkaroon ng lata ng Pork & Beans na panay pork at iisa ang bean,
ang tawag dun ay Bean & Porks

Kung pasan mo ang mga bituin,
daigdig mo'y walang ningning

Palaging gumamit ng daliri sa paglinis ng screen ng celphone mo
para mapagkamalan naka touch screen phone ka

Lahat ng cheeseburger ay may cheese,
Pero di lahat ng hamburger, may ham

Kung ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay lang ay "vegetarian",
tama ba tawagin ang kumakain ng tao ay "humanitarian" ?

Kung ang sukdulang hayop ay hinayupak,
ang ubod ng gandang pinay ay pinayupak

Kung tingin mo minamalas ka sa pagsakay ng jeep na nagpagas, nahuli ng pulis at nasiraan, isipin mong mas maswerte ka pa rin keysa sa driver

Wala kang mapapala
kung subukan mong lunurin ang isang isda

Hindi lahat ng butas pagtinakpan ay nag-iiba.
Limang sentimo pa rin ang limang sentimo, kahit takpan mo pa ang butas niya

Ang langaw na napatakan ng ulan
ay katumbas ng taong binuhusan ng isang baldeng tubig.

Walang mapait na dugo
... sa panlasa ng isang gutom na lamok.

Ang lalakeng may dala-dalang pink na payong...
... ay lamang pa rin sa lalakeng nakababad sa araw

Tumulo man ang laway, luha o uhog,
normal pa rin yun keysa may tumulo sa tenga

Ang buhay ay parang bola...
... nasisipa at pinagpapasahan, pero ikaw ang star dahil tinitingnan ng lahat

Ang tawag sa master shaolin na mahilig sa dumplings...
... ay shaomai

Wag Ipangalan sa Mga Anak Nyo:

* Last Name: Cruz; First Name: Beeto
* Last Name: Derya ; First Name: Karin
* Last Name: Miltogo ; First Name: Bento (kapatid ni Valyo)
* Last Name: Lele ; First Name: Yoko
* Last Name: Guwan ; First Name: Dino

Ano bang magandang gawin sa ilog?

Pupunta ka ba dito?

Just A Smile Away

One touch gives such a thrill
That the things I want to say I have to whisper

Ooh one kiss and love begins
And the dream becomes so real it's never ending
Cause when you're near, ooh or far away from me
There's a closeness that I feel because I'm sure, so sure

You're just a smile away, just a smile away
A smile that blows a kiss into my heart
Just a smile away, just a smile away
A smile that blows a kiss into my heart, my heart

One look and a smile and a word and a touch and a kiss
And then I'm so sure...
You're just a smile away, just a smile away

A smile that blows a kiss into my heart (straight to my heart)
Just a smile away, just a smile away
A smile that blows a kiss into my heart
Just a smile away

Attention: I'm strictly on a
-------------------------------

SEEFOOD
-----------------------------------

Diet

everytime i see food, i eat it

TangIna this !@#$%^&*